


A Completely Rational Suggestion

by cinnamonivy



Category: Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Cliche, Fluff, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, One Shot, Romance, Wedding, cute and dumb, proposal
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-04
Updated: 2016-05-04
Packaged: 2018-06-06 10:59:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,095
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6751288
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cinnamonivy/pseuds/cinnamonivy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This is my first work for this pairing, so I apologize if it isn't very good. Any feedback is greatly appreciated!</p></blockquote>





	A Completely Rational Suggestion

Edward stared in disbelief. "Are you joking?"

"I am not known for my irreverent sense of humor." Jonathan's face was blank, any emotion expertly concealed.

"It— it's just..." Edward stuttered. He was, for maybe the fourth or fifth time in his life, speechless.

"Of course, Edward, I mean 'married' purely in the legal sense. It is a completely rational suggestion. If we were married, then under spousal privilege we would not be required to testify against one another in court. It was just an idea."

Edward nodded slowly, not quite disagreeing. "I suppose, if it is entirely a matter of practicality..."

They had been working together for about a year, give or take, and Edward had to admit that he considered the other man somewhat... tolerable. Jonathan wasn't completely idiotic, especially in comparison to the typical mouth-breathers that populated Gotham City, and Edward did appreciate a similar intellect. There had been a few incidents involving fear toxin, but otherwise they worked well together. Edward would not, however, consider them a couple. Sure, they might have slept together a few times, but it was generally agreed upon amongst the rogues that what happened in Arkham Asylum stayed in Arkham Asylum. And living together was entirely a matter of knowing where the other was, just in case the police or Batman caught up to them. Less easily explained were the countless moments he spent wondering if Jonathan had made it back safely, or the nights they spent just sitting together, not talking, Jonathan absentmindedly running his fingers through Edward's hair. Edward couldn't explain why, exactly, he had memorized every detail of the man's face, from the way his blue eyes lit up when he was excited, to the way that his smile was a bit higher on the left side. There were moments where Edward paused and asked himself if he actually had feelings for the psychologist turned psychopath, but he preferred to move on quickly and pretend that those thoughts never occurred to him. 

Yes, accepting the proposal was an entirely rational decision, based off of solid legal judgement and pragmatic thinking. Edward tried to ignore the thought at the back of his mind that Jonathan probably wouldn't have acquired a ring if it really was just about a legal document, and he wouldn't have taken to wearing it under his gloves if that was the case. His best explanation for himself was that it was just to help sell the illusion, but to whom, he was not certain. 

It was an overcast night in Gotham when they broke into the city clerk's office a week later, accompanied by the Mad Hatter and a hostage they'd picked up somewhere. The clerk, an older woman, had attempted to make a run for it but found the door blocked by a couple of night guards —dead or merely unconscious, they hadn't bothered to check— and Jervis was able to, ah, convince her to authorize a marriage license for the very day. Jervis had seemed excited about the prospect of a wedding, but had appeared undeniably disappointed by how low-key of an affair it ended up being. He had attempted to add a bit of flair despite only having a couple hours' notice, however, strewing the office with silk flowers he had inexplicably acquired and constructing a makeshift arch out of four chairs and a file cabinet. He sat down in a folding chair, clapping excitedly as the two other rogues stood under the arch. 

Their hostage, possibly a minister, possibly just some random guy who'd gotten a certification online at some point, stared blankly ahead. "We are gathered here today to celebrate one of life's greatest moments, the joining of two hearts. In this ceremony today, we will witness the joining of—"  
Jonathan gave the small man sitting across from them a bitter look.

"Tetch, I told you to make this as quick as possible. Please cut the unnecessary parts before the police arrive."

Jervis sighed over-dramatically, but the officiant skipped ahead. "Do you, Dr. Jonathan Crane, take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?"

"I do."

"And do you, Edward Nygma, take this—"

"Yes, I do, just get this over with."

Jervis awkwardly stood up on the chair. "Just a quick speech. Lewis Carroll once wrote, 'If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn't. And contrary wise, what is, it wouldn't be. And what it wouldn't be, it would.' I believe that's—"

"Tetch, you know that this is entirely just to get out of testifying in court, and you're the only witness here who will have any idea what's happened by tomorrow, so please stop talking if you do not want to find your tea spiked with a new batch of toxin I keep meaning to try out."

He slowly sank back down in silence. The officiant turned his head robotically to face a spot on the wall between Edward and Jonathan. "By the power vested in me, I now pronounce you married. You may kiss the groom."

Jonathan removed the burlap mask, his hair untidy and his glasses askew, but the voice in the back of Edward's mind, the same one that said to wear the ring and not to complain about him touching his hair, couldn't care less. Jonathan leaned down slightly, his lips brushing gently against Edward's. For a split second, Edward debated whether or not to pull him back, but before he could reach a proper conclusion he found himself drawing the taller man into a passionate embrace, kissing him fiercely until he was forced to let go for want of oxygen. 

Edward unwrapped his arms from around the other man —his husband, he reminded himself— and took a few deep breaths. Jonathan gave him a crooked smile, a sort of self-satisfied smirk. He didn't quite let go of Edward, merely allowing his arms to drop to his waist.  
Edward looked up at him in annoyance.

"What's with the face?"

"That certainly wasn't just to get out of testifying against me."

"Oh, shut up."

"Love you too."

Edward wouldn't go so far as to say that they were in love, he mused later that night. He wasn't sure if he was even capable of being in love, if such a thing even existed. But there was undeniably some degree of... of something between them. He closed his eyes as Jonathan absentmindedly ran his fingers through his hair, and pressed himself closer against his husband's side.

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first work for this pairing, so I apologize if it isn't very good. Any feedback is greatly appreciated!


End file.
